Thursday, December 31, 2009

Bye Bye 2009

You were an awesome year of growth and love and good times and challenging ones. Thank you Lord for your plans for 2009 that came about. Lead us on!



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Reflections on 2009 -This idea came from Incourage.

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

That is hard to answer...single most. single.... hard to pick one. the top that come to mind is seeing Taddy water-baptized, his choice, to profess his belief in Jesus. In refection, another is finally coming to terms with grace and that it is not my performance that counts, and with my ministry is my family and not feeling like that is less. So I would say, God is what was the best happening this year...


2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Again, I struggle with picking just one. But the biggest challenge is the harmony between and with my children. It is a real crisis right now, and not resolved. Finances would be the runner up. You would think the adoption delays and waiting waiting would be, but that moved past challenging into acceptance.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

I found some awesome advice and friends in cyberspace this year. Reconnecting with Marcy, from highschool, "meeting" Linny and her lovely family {and winning a Memorial Box from her}, learning of Dr. Karyn Purvis and the hope she brings to adoptive families like us, reading the Holy Experience by Ann V and the impact her words have on my heart and hope. Rediscovering my love for creating and exploring knitting, embroidery, crocheting and sewing. All unexpected joys. But the greatest joy has been family. Especially Saturday nights with my parents over. Simple meals, playing cards, hanging with the kids. that has been my greatest unexpected joy.

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

Finances! I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden (it felt like) the larder was empty and things got tough. Adjustments were made, and are still being made, and a new lifestyle is emerging. I like that. But it was unexpected.

5. Pick three words to describe 2009.

deeper, aching, hopeful

(Skpped 6 and 7, it was about a spouse, which I don't have)

8. What were the best books you read this year?

Oh that one is yummy. Read tons. ..not as much as I would like:

God's Word
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society By Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows (Aunt and niece).
Velva Jean Learns to Drive (Jennifer Niven)
Shanghai Girls (Lisa See)
Also Known As Harper
Ethan Frome
The Connected Child
How to Make Brothers and Sisters Best Friends
The Lucky One (Nicholas Sparks)
Dream when You're Feeling Blue (Elizabeth Berg)
Water for Elephants (Sara Gruen)
Scarlett Letter
Ethan Frome
Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control
A Mercy (Toni Morrison)
John ( Beth Moore)

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

Jesus, my kids, my parents....and many dear friends, face to face and online, that added richly to my life (Rebecca, Stephanie, Heather, Kristy, Donna, ...others)

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

My hair color!~ lol..... Weight (lost 25 lbs, but gained a chunk back. :( My love for my family. I did not think it could get greater. But it did. It is almost an ache, I love them so much and long for them to grow in God so much and to love each other. This was not asked (at least yet, I have not finished the list), but if asked what my one wish for 2010 would be, that my children would grow in their love for God and in their love from each other so that you could see it demonstrated in peace and care for each other. I am truly longing, praying and seeking for a family transformation this year in loving one another. I want it more than anything.


11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
Let go of the perfection (performance) excpectation and crawled under the blanket of grace. Came to contented peace with who I am and my place in God, and my place in my family as being important.....in charge of little things as God's servant.


12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

I think the same as the question above....grace and contentment. I will see my failings so glaringly and just wish I could magic-wand them away... I still struggle with doing what I know to be right, what I know to "work"...daily time with God and his word, and then being a servant in my heart...but my wants last.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

That's a funny question. Well I certainly am not taller....or younger! lol.

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

More in love with my children. More appreciative of my parents. More accepting of myself. More aware of the blessings of friends.

15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home?

Wow, the words enjoyable and home management in the same sentence??!!! I love making little things for the home, decorating or making it homey. Organizing the calendar and kids centers I guess, for school, and backpacks, coats, etc.

16. What was your most challenging area of home management?

Meals. Still is the bane of my existance.

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Ouch! the internet?

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

-Quiet time and bible study
-Playing games with the kids, family meetings, walks, kid projects, holiday activities with the kids.
-Creative time: knitting, sewing, etc.

19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?

That there is always hope. That God is never done, or fed up, or exasperated. That He is wise and caring and has no limit to his understanding. That he is all the time working behind the scenes. That if I could see, He is urgning me to just believe and do what I know to do....to walk humbly with my God.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2009 for you.

Uncover the wounds, exposing to THE hope.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Just too Precious....

I came across the most precious book at a thrift store, a three book volume of Martha B Rabbit and Friends, written and illustrated by Shirley Barber.

It has the beautiful paintings and sweet, quaint story. I had to find out more about the artist/author. Her website shares her story.... raised on Guernsey Island during the war really peaked my interest, as I had read the The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society By Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows and had fallen in love with just the thought of the island.

You can get many of her books used and new on Amazon.com. They truly are lovely and have this old world feel about them.




Am I a chicken? wimp?




I went over my dear friends house last night for a "momma sleepover". Dinner (something more sophisticated than mac n cheese) hot cocoa, movie, knitting, chatting....a night away for the kids. I really enjoyed it. Loved to spend time with her...relaxed. It was a great night....


Then...when it came close to time to go to bed...I started feeling sad and lonely and HOMESICK! :) Although I was only about 15 miles away from home, and by the time I would get back to home my kids would be all in bed... I just could not stand it. Not being home in bed in the same house as my kids.

Am I a chicken-wimp?

The boys have spent the night at a friends, or their dads from time to time, and I have to admit, I always feel uneasy at bedtime, with them not there for me to tuck them in. And the last time I was away, I think was about 3 years ago?....

I guess I am just a mother hen and need to be in the nest with my little chicks! So I drove home late, took a shortcut and got lost and got home even later....but my babies were still awake and I got to hug and nighty-night them all. sigh.....

And I realize, again, something that has been popping up over and over again this past year. That just because we could do something, or just because someone else does something and it is great for them, does not mean it works for us. It just seems that being together works so much better for us. Smaller scale, closer to home.....

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Merry Post-Christmas...


Lounging all day in pjs...playing with toys and enjoying the things we crafted. Eating the fudge and cookies, watching movies, playing games. Snuggling late under the blankets...Even doing some pleasure knitting and embroidery, with no deadline looming.
I think the most brilliant thing I did this year was take the week after Christmas off too! True vacation...nestling in and relaxing.
Plus a little cold has put me in
ssssllloooowwwww motion.
I hope you are enjoying the days after Christmas.

I think I am going to go make a cup of cocoa and grab my novel.













Saturday, December 26, 2009

Hopes and Fears



yet in thy dark streets shineth,

the everlasting light,

the hopes and fears of all the years

are met in thee tonight....

As I look forward to 2010, think about goals, think about what I long to be different, face my fears with the light of hope, I am so thankful for Jesus. What would another year on the horizon feel like, with out the hope and intimacy of my dearest friend and companion. My only hope? I do not even want to imagine.

With Jesus, each year comes with an excitement of what he has planned, what he will uncover, the treasures he will reveal and the deepening of a dear love between the closest of friends.

In the next week, I will sit first with myself and Jesus and pen out those things I hope and wish for in the coming year, the focus I want to give, and then sit with each of my children to write out a goal of two for them for the year, and some ideas of how they can accomplish it, and allow Jesus to work in them.

I look forward with hope, because of what we celebrated yesterday. In the darkness of our lives, and what we can view as the darkness of our culture at times, there shines an everlasting light. A light that sets a spark to our souls. A flame we can fan, that will ignite our hopes and burn up our fears.

Hope for Mary to grow in the knowledge that she is loved and precious and of great value to me and to God. To grow in her understanding of who God is and that she can come to know him.

Hope for Taddy, that his wounds will heal, that the word and life of God will pour into his broken heart, that he will grow in his knowledge of being loved and how to love others and just how special he is. That he will start to develop a servants heart.

Hope for Nicky that he will grow more secure in God's love, deepening into his relationship with Jesus and in the word, more committed to serve God through his place in our family as the oldest son. And grow in the gifts God has given him to bless others.

Hope for Olivia Mame, that God sees her, has a plan of hope and a future for her. That she will grow in her knowledge and love that she has a family, though not her original one, one that God has handpicked for her, to show his love to her and to us. Growth in her knowledge of God, his love and in our love. Hope that she will come to her new home soon, and God will wash her over with his love in the transition.

Hope for momma, that I will walk and live beyond myself, more in the fruit of God in me. Patience, gentleness, kindness and wisdom. That I will love better because I have allowed God to first love on me.

Hope for my parents, that God is El Shaddai, and will provide all their needs, Abba who hold them on his lap and gives hope, love and calm to their fears.

Hope for my friends, that they will grow and rest in the love Jesus has for them and deeper into their relationship with him.

Hope for the two dear young ladies in my home, that they will come to know Jesus and his life for them, his hope and his plan. That he loves them to pieces and has chosen them for a special life.

Like Bethlehem, let my life be still enough to realize the everlasting light that meets all my hopes and fears.

_____________________

PS. I read this after..and just love it:

"On the cusp of a New Year, I can feel it: the excitement of radical transformation, the possibility of real change"....

"What mucky places in your life do you want Christ to come meet you this coming new year? " Ann V-What spending Christmas in a barn taught me

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

a busy week, an awesome day

Boy! What a whirlwind week we have had....From finishing decorating, school play, {It was awesome}, church play {awesome again}, crafting gingerbread houses, making gifts, and gifts, and dare I say, more gifts, {elves, pjs, hats, just to name a few}, baking all Saturday and delivering baskets....

I was feeling more than a little exhausted.

Yet, today, even with things undone on my to do list, when a friend asked, I agreed, and took my kids to Holiday in the Park at Six Flags. The night before, I started thinking, as I climbed weary and stressed into bed, "What are you thinking??!!"

This morning, when I woke up, still tired and a bit stressed, I thought "What are you THINKING??!!!"

But then, as I paused and tried to slow down my heart rate and my soul ache, I thought...let it go. The list, the need to, the gotta do. Let it go.

Here is the middle of it, drop it, and see if we can redeem the day and have a just enjoy moment in the center of it. I prayed for harmony and fun.

At the lunch table, the kids sneaked off to another room, I knew what they were about, but pretended I did not. Nick coached the other two on "let's get along today and not get short with each other and make it a great day for mom!"

The outcome?

scroll...on down...






























































































We had a flat-out awesome, peaceful, full of goodwill and family connection and friend connection day! Awesome, awesome. I kept feeling a spark, as we walked among colored lights and I heard REAL Christmas Carols, being played in a theme park. " Christ the new born King"....."Silent Night"...."Son of God"... It was awesome.
I think we may have a NEW family tradition for the eve of Christmas eve! Mary's favorite part....the snow sledding! Taddy's, that he was tall enough now to ride on the BIG rollercoasters...Medusa, twice, Kong, Roar, Tony Hawk... Nick's the Medusa and Hot Cocoa. Momma, the hot cocoa {with whip cream}, the lights, the Christmas Carols....and the Shouka show. But most of all, enjoying the day with my kids and finding some Christmas memories in the middle of it all.
Mary and Taddy snow sledding.
Nick finishing off his Hot Cocoa
Taddy, fresh off the Medusa.
Merry Eve of Christmas Eve!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

I love this story...

Amazing God, amazing woman, amazing life.....must read: http://www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

How God decorates for Christmas.....























































































































































































































































These pictures were sent to me in a powerpoint with text. The only name listed on them is He Yan. I assume that is the photographer, but I do not know that for sure.




Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I can't Help it!!

Amanda Soule has the most precious picture on her site. And I know some folks may not follow her site and then they may miss this pic of preciousness..SO I just have to share it and link to it. Her family has spent the last 3 weeks "babysitting" a farm and she has shared the most lovely pictures...go see go see!


Now wasn't I right? Isn't that precious? Just to know there are little cows who peek their faces out of barns in this world does my heart good.....
Oh where is that mister farmer who wants to marry me and raise a bunch of kids? Santa....where is he? (LOL)

Better....


I am doing much better today...sigh....
Watched a movie with the kids, sewed a bunch of little bags, finished my gifts that need to be mailed, and went to bed at a decent hour.
I am back to loving making things! :)