Confessions of a Bible Study facilitator...

Confession: I am leading a women's Bible study at church. We are doing Beth Moore's Esther study on Tuesday nights. It comes with a workbook with 5 days of homework. Last night, Sunday, I did four of the five days homework. I was a little behind with the study being tomorrow night.

What did Esther have to say to me last night?

A lot:

"Life sometimes isn't pretty....and this isn't pretend."

I had been wondering, even prayed, a little, with this funk I seem to be in, and with two little girls coming this spring, and not being able to just whisk them off to a room without understanding where they "stranger" they will be calling 'momma' is, whether I should ask to skip leading the next Bible Study. And even questioning, the effectiveness of the Bible Studies. Does it really matter? I KNOW it matters in my life, I KNOW it impacts the women who come to the study, what I mean is ME LEADING IT, couldn't anyone turn on the lights, chat for a couple of minutes and then push play on a dvd? So I decided to pray about it and wait and see. Back to what Esther had to say:

" Your labor is not in vain. God's word really does renew the minds and transform lives. So, small-group leader, stay the course!" Do you think she was talking to me?

We are "learning that we have to deal with our mean streak every time it rears its ugly head."

"What spoke to you most personally about meanness in session 2?" How I can be mean! :( How rivalry brings meanness out in my kids (and in me?)

"We swap pain for anger."

"Take care not to slander, we can't control where our words will go. ....if we discern something evil or suspicious, God calls us to take our concerns to Him." See there is that message to pray about everything, again!

Day after day ... the temptation for Mordecai to either bow down and slander Haman came day after day after day after day....the tempation of Joseph with Potiphar's wife, came day after day after day after day...the day in, day out stuff, is what tempts us.

When was the last time you felt like anunseen enemy was trying to blast his way through your gate with the force and repetition of a battering ram?

Day in day out, anger in my family, the tension and the unkind, mean and impatient responses we CAN all have.

We have to respond "out of our mind-set rathre than our mood". Joseph's made up mind was stronger than his mood.

He (God) had the tenacious love to stick with me and help this chronic weakling grow stronger. I've had to learn to be intentional and determined about where I would set my mind. We cannot dempend on a good mood to get us through.

May God be allowed to work such steadfastness of mind in you.... Amen!

Trust that time is God's alone to give. Every man-scheduled date subjected upon His children is written....on God's calendar. ....it is a date with Christ! (Mame and Hanna's court date.)

Our enemy is trying to get back at God by attacking us!

"If we are faithless, He (God) will remain faithful." 2 tim 2:13

Isn't one of Satan's primary agendas to not let us enjoy the rest Christ has given us?..When Jesus say the crowds he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

He can deliver you from distraction, from inconsistency.

Remember what God has done for you! Rehearse the stroy again!


Ok, any of those thoughts could be an entire blog. But God used them wrapped all up together to remind me who I am, what I am doing, what my enemy is doing and God's hand it all of it.

So I am bucking up, digging in and being aware. And praying.