There are several folks, whose blogs I follow, that live in the north, New York, Minnesota, Canada.... and always post such lovely snow pictures. I find myself envious. In theory. One posted it was 14 below yesterday. It was 63 above yesterday here.
I read a phrase from one that if it weren't for her husbands job, she would "live somewhere warmer."
That phrase stuck with me. I am so tenderhearted today. I feel like I need a good cry. In fact, I may just go have one with my bible study homework. I am so aware of my shortcomings and so aware of all that depend on me. and how short the time is.
Just today, I remarked a couple times, 5 years from now, my kids will be 10, 11, 12, 13 and 15! Can you imagine?
So my heart longs so to "live somewhere warmer". Some where closer to God, more consistently aware of his presence, more continually interacting and communicating with Him, far less blowing it and looping around the same ol' issues. I long for somewhere warmer.
Does He see that? Does He know the longing of my heart and how I wish I was better than I am? Can I just fall back on Him and let go of me, let go of my failings and rest in His arms? I know I can, so why don't I? I feel like I am in a straight-jacket fastened shut by my own doings and my own efforts of trying not to do....
Set me free in the warmth of your love Abba. I WANT to live somewhere warmer. Help me find my way. For the sake of my little ones, Help me. Help us.
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