Motivate Me Monday..Really?

A big update PS.

We did go grocery shopping, tacos for dinner, no cupcakes, but four games of Chinese checkers later. I still felt so yucky, though, that I decided to go read ALL the other Motivate Me Monday posts, from the blog collection below. Here is what spoke to me:

1. I NEED, MUST be obedient to getting up and spending time with God FIRST, in the word and prayer DAILY! I must I must I must. I know what to do and don't do it. That is the ONLY thing that will get me out of this funk.
2. My loneliness or any soul discomfort, should cause me to run to God and His word, not the internet, or blogs or Gilmore Girl episodes or even scrapbook hobbies.
3. That "God never told us that following Him would be easy." SO TRUE. So I need to quit expecting it to be and acting confused, dismayed or depressed when it is not.
4. Following God is "always been easier ...than leading." If I will let it, it can take the worry and stress out. If I let it. (sidenote: hmmm, something just hit me, even my worry over my "state of mind/soul" and my funk....I can let go. I can quit worrying about it and just pray about it and trust. hmmmm.)
5. "Don't forget to take time to breath in the midst of your chaos and listen carefully for God's whisper". YES! I forget too often. Even now, if I hush the keyboard..I can hear it. {Those last three gems came from here: http://baldwinedge6.blogspot.com/2009/02/monday-inspiration.html , worth the read.}
6. A NEON reminder of " what being a mom is all about"... ya know, being there for the not-so-fun stuff... which consequently makes the fun stuff even more meaningful." Is that not so true. How do I forget or check out of that????!!! THIS is what being a mom is about. The sermon this Sunday at Lakeside was about doing the small things for God. This is my BIG small thing. Being the mom God wants me to be! (And how can I be that without being fully connected with God and getting filled every morning. IT keeps coming back to that! My number one need.)
7. A reminder of how much playing worship, godly music for me and the kids is a tone setter. (Today we were listening to the Reggae for Kids. And although it was cute and upbeat, some of the lyrics were objectional. Good reminder.)
8. "I will walk in my house with a blameless heart." Psalm 101:2 This verse just popped out in 3-D to me. I am SO FAR from this. I am starting to memorize verses with my mom and hopefully a couple girlfriends, and THIS is my second half of February verse!
9. "My job and goal should be to create a place of peace, this can only be found by surrendering my thoughts on home [and family] to God's thoughts on home [and family]."
10. "I need to dig deep and find some motivation!" I know this. I even alluded to it in my post, but I stopped short. I got up and went shopping when what I needed to do was ".encourage myself in the Lord." As one blogger shared, praising God takes our eyes off ourself, or our circumstance or our mood and onto God. But sometimes I just don't feel like praising, don't have anything to say that would be authentic. She then suggested a wonderful wat to get our "hearts and minds back on track is to read the Psalms and pray those beautiful words back to Him." I know this is true. I know this works! so NIKE!
11. Someone said it so well, just like Paul, in that "Have you ever noticed how hard it is to do the right thing?" And how as a parent we are presented with this challenge "every single day". (Many times a day!)
12. Teaching our children that their relationship with God is far more important than anything, no matter how alluring or seemingly important. Me too, teach me too!
13. And I think perhaps the BEST advice and insight out of the whole group:
    If [something has left a} bitter taste in your mouth, know that God is like a big glass of milk, he will cover that taste if you drink deeply of him."

Amen! After reading all these blogs and gleaning their inspiration, I feel ashamed of mine. Perhaps next time, I will share something more life-giving.

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OK, so I read a blog post about trying to motivate on Mondays with the suggestion to "Share some advice, wisdom, practical applications, tips you've learned, etc. that you think would benefit and motivate others."

So here is the challenge, it is Monday, raining/cold, "holiday" with all of us off work and school and I am on a string of too many days being unmotivated about ANYTHING (other than watching Gilmore Girls, and I just finished the last episode of the last season, last night.)

I have been having a hard time, internally, for longer than I can remember. Barely bobbing as I tred water, I pop of from drowning in self-disgust or self-absorption, just to find myself back again by the next day, if not sooner. Sad. (Are you motivated yet?)

I don't want to do anything and I don't want to do nothing.

I feel like I have just checked out of life, yet life and dinner, and dishes and laundry, and leading Bible study and work, and kids needing me...still goes on. My body is there, barely, my mind, occiasionally, my heart seems to bounce between, dead, grumpy, hurt and nothing....grey. Moody? Depressed?

Who knows.

And now to motivate. lol (ok, col)

In Beth's Esther study, one thing she said hit me. She talked about how anger can burn or maybe it was fear, I forget which emotion she was talking about, but that the source of the fear (or anger) was not this other person, but our THOUGHTS about it.

My funk, what ever it is, I could try to keep analyzing it, keep trying to get over it, keep thinking it through and planning a new way of escape, but those are all THOUGHTS. Not real. Rather than giving it so much mental press, perhaps I will quit thinking about it. Just let it go. Get up, go grocery shopping, fix a yummy dinner, maybe even throw in some cupcake baking and move on.

You know, I think I will.

Well, at least I motivated me.