A longing for the country....

The newest issue of Country Living was in my mailbox today.

I meandered through the pages, almost like a relaxing walk down a country road. I savored the worn painted benches, the wooden floors, quilts on thebed, the collections of this and that, (especially the skeleton keys, and the old book of handwritten hymns). I envied the family from Venice Ca with a second home in Conneticut.

As I meandered, I realized, I have had to let go of a dream......

Out of necessity, perhaps, but let go all the same.

I had always dreamed of living in a country home, or a farm house, in a small town or in the countryside surrounding one. From time to time I have looked at homes in the country, looked at home plans, looked at property, even driven out to some. I would fantasize that when I became a wealthy author, I could live and write anywhere, so why not in the country, in an old house, with a big porch and a barn.

Our drives to the coast each summer pass through farmlands, vineyards and orchards.

I drool over all the farmhouses, and pray, instead of a mansion, that I could have a yellow farmhouse with white trim when I get to heaven.

Silly. Who am I kidding?

I am a single momma, older, working in a corporation to support my children and myself. That country dream is just not for my lifetime. Maybe one of my kids, perhaps. Although, I am not sure they have the country bug, like I do. We have private schools to drive to, and basketball practices, the corporate office and our rental suburban home.... We can't live miles away in the country.

I know that.

Still....

...I long for it.

And each month, when the magazine comes, I live their for 30 minutes or so.

The last four pictures are ones I took in Oregon, in 2005, when I thought I was moving there.