Friday, April 18, 2008

A new kind of Widow....

Ok...get ready for some venting. :)

So, I am a fortunate single mother. I had two children before I became a SINGLE mother, and have added two since, by the adoption choice. I make a heathly living, my boys have a father that chooses to stay involved in their life and support them financially. I can afford childcare and private school.

I am the exception. And yet, even with all the blessings God has given me as a single mother, some days, some times, some circumstances are really hard to walk "alone".

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Gen 2:18

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Eph 4: 9-12

Yet, even so, God walks it with me. There are so many, so many, the majority, of single mom's that do not have it as fortunate as I? (Why Lord? Why? Why aren't they blessed? I pray you will bless them, help them.)

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:17

When this was written, the percentage of fathers/husbands that would CHOOSE to leave their children and family, were very low. It would have been a total disgrace, unthinkable. But in our present day culture, it is a very sad...very high percentage. Often the leaving father/husband is thought of no less than before, and his neglect overlooked, accepted. And who are the victims? The mom and children. These are are current day widows and orphans. Overlooked, forgotten, often needing to use welfare or assistance just to make ends meet.

Let's look at it a second. Childcare in my town averages between $175 to $190 A WEEK! Multiply that by two or three children and you are talking about $2000 to $3200 a MONTH! So let's just stop there. Forget, clothes, food, home, gas., medical..... Just the childcare cost ALONE most mothers will not make enough income to pay. And how much more does a single mom's children need the extra peace of mind and assistance that a quality, Christian day care would bring. And they are no better. No cheaper.

What are we, as the church doing? If this is our TRUE religion, to look after these orphans and widows, WHAT ARE WE DOING? What are we using our church funds for? Carpet, lights, music equipment, new curicculum, special programs, camps, festivals, remodeling, bigger building, and yes, we do send some to missions. WHAT ARE WE DOING for the widows and orphans?

I am sorry, but I have to ask about my tithe. My attitude, in the past, has been to pay it into the church and trust God on the administration of how it is used. But I am now rethinking this. I am sorry. I know that is not the popular thing to say. But SHOW ME the church that is doing something about our societies current widows and orphans...single mom families, as well as older widows in our church... I want to see it. I cannot think of one, of all the churches in my town.

One has a daycare, at $180 a week!!! I am glad they have a Christian daycare, my children have all benefitted from it. BUT I CAN AFFORD IT!!!!! Most single mom's cannot. Especially those that get no support from the abandoning fathers.

What church has a free day care for single parents? A drop in care for those time when a parent just needs some help? Where do they turn? Who can they look to? What do their children have to settle for, who have already lost so much.

My heart breaks, as I know of those in my own extended family, that are facing this challenge. I know my God is more than able to provide and care for them. And I hold them up in prayer.

At the same time, I have to ask, as His church, as His hands and arms here on earth in this age, WHAT ARE WE DOING???

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