Wednesday, March 04, 2009

A longing for the country....

The newest issue of Country Living was in my mailbox today.
I meandered through the pages, almost like a relaxing walk down a country road. I savored the worn painted benches, the wooden floors, quilts on thebed, the collections of this and that, (especially the skeleton keys, and the old book of handwritten hymns). I envied the family from Venice Ca with a second home in Conneticut.
As I meandered, I realized, I have had to let go of a dream......
Out of necessity, perhaps, but let go all the same.
I had always dreamed of living in a country home, or a farm house, in a small town or in the countryside surrounding one. From time to time I have looked at homes in the country, looked at home plans, looked at property, even driven out to some. I would fantasize that when I became a wealthy author, I could live and write anywhere, so why not in the country, in an old house, with a big porch and a barn.
Our drives to the coast each summer pass through farmlands, vineyards and orchards.
I drool over all the farmhouses, and pray, instead of a mansion, that I could have a yellow farmhouse with white trim when I get to heaven.
Silly. Who am I kidding?

I am a single momma, older, working in a corporation to support my children and myself. That country dream is just not for my lifetime. Maybe one of my kids, perhaps. Although, I am not sure they have the country bug, like I do. We have private schools to drive to, and basketball practices, the corporate office and our rental suburban home.... We can't live miles away in the country.
I know that.


...I long for it.

And each month, when the magazine comes, I live their for 30 minutes or so.

The last four pictures are ones I took in Oregon, in 2005, when I thought I was moving there.

1 Things Others Said:

crispy said...

If you only knew how much this post is me. I could have written the part about living and longing for the country. We still long for it. And it just isn't going to happen now. Maybe when we get to heaven that will be our mansion. =)

We kind of had that in our last place and had to let it go. It wasn't that picture perfect but it was special to us.