Sunday, September 06, 2009

Be a good guy.....

Yesterday I finished reading a book,

(again) and it left me with a lot of thoughts about certain types of books and why are women (me) drawn to them...and why I avoid them...

So I do not read hardly EVER a romance novel...a pure romance novel. And I even avoid for the most part, reading other novels that have romance in them or where some guy comes to the rescue.

I just find it too unrealistic and also setting my emotions up to desire something that does not happen to most people and will not happen to me. I do not want to make that sound bitter, I know it could be interpreted with a slice of bitter. Really it is not. Practical. Realistic.

See the funny thing, I am a romantic. In the full sense of the word.

Romantic: a: marked by the imaginative or emotional appeal of what is heroic, adventurous, remote, mysterious, or idealized

b: often capitalized : of, relating to, or having the characteristics of romanticism

c : of or relating to music of the 19th century characterized by an emphasis on subjective emotional qualities and freedom of form; also : of or relating to a composer of this music5

a : having an inclination for romance : responsive to the appeal of what is idealized, heroic, or adventurous

b : marked by expressions of love or affection

I fully embrace the heroic and adventurous with my children, with my values. But when it comes to the man/woman romance, I am far more realistic (dismayed?), since it is so rarely lived out over a long period of time, in a true and noble way, and I cannot say I have seen it, much (some?), although have read of it.

So I avoid books that play or rely too heavily on the good guy coming through to save the day and staying. Although I do allow myself to watch romantic comedies, perhaps because they are funny and it is far less of a time investment.

Back to the book I just finished yesterday. I realized, when I finished, that I did wish there was truly a "good guy" f0r us, for my family, wondering why it is only in books and why do so many books have this story line? And I think, it is because each woman (many women? this woman) longs for a good guy.

We, Eve's daughters, were made for good guys. We are fallen, yet redeemed on the path of transformation. Good guys are also fallen, but on the path to transformation as well - pressing on. Good guys bring out the noble woman (Prov 31) in us. I believe this longing is "eternity set in our hearts" . Being made in the image of God, we long for a good guy. What is good and right and lasting.

I had often felt guilty reading books about good guys (wistfully), or afraid to. Feeling they would feed an emotion God did not want me to have. My devotoin should be toward Him. Yet He is the author of romance. I now see my draw toward the good guy storly line is my draw to something at was (is) part of Gods plan. God desires for all men to be good guys. And I SOOO want to raise two litle men to be good guys.

(I want to be the female version of a good guy and raise my daughters to be "good guy" girls as well and hold out for good guys. )

so BOYS, listen to your momma, Be the GOOD GUY!

What is a good guy?

faithful (devoted to the end)
merciful and gracious

A tall good guy order. And I want to train up my boys to be the good guy. To value and grasp those character traits and habits.

So I am going to start a series of stories for my boys, about a young boy, where each story he learns/embraces one of those traits. Not quite sure how it will work, not sure if it will be a bedtime story I make up or something I write for them to read, or I read to them. I will work that out. But it feels too important to let all these growing-up years go buy, with out instilling in them desire to be good guys.

(I will get to my girls too...on another note.)

The book I read? Nicholas Sparks'- The Lucky One. A romantic adventure, but I am trying with any novel I read, to not just be entertained, or just observe the writing style and techniques, but dig deeper for some gem in it. I got Good Guy, out of this one.

I also got thi:. There is a scene where the good guy is helping a young boy make a kite. I know how making something with a child can get a little frustrating for them and for the helper. As the child wants to jump to the end product, and has a little case of the know-it-alls, where, as the adult helper, you can see, perhaps, a little more of how it should go, and what should be done first, or this way..etc. In the story the good guy would patiently fix any mistakes or errors and would save or give the most fun parts of the project to the boy.

And I thought about that, as I have done projects with my children. I am often so focused on the outcome being right (or aesthetically pleasing) and getting it done in a timely matter, that I walk all over little hearts and minds (sad) and do NOT give the most fun parts to them, or allow them to make the mistakes, or if mistakes happen to gently, patiently sweep them under the rug, and fix them. Bad me!

Awareness now has been made. So I shall endeavor to be the "good guy" to my children, as I teach them to be the good guy as well.

Just think, they may grow up to be the exception.

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