Monday, May 17, 2010

He knows what it takes...for each of us... much on my mind and on my plate..... took a really slow the middle of it all. :)
I was listening to KLOVE this morning, and someone was sharing about how the healing of her puppy was what brought her back to God and turned her heart.
I was thinking how God knows what it is for each of us, uniquely, that touches us, turns us, blesses us.....
the uniqueness he makes in each of us...
Last week, feeling pretty down on myself...{won't go into the details of there!}... I was feeling pretty unspecial....
Friday was an awards assembly at my children's school. I have a love/hate relationship with the awards assembly. My oldest son, Nick, always gets multiple awards. I am so proud of him....beaming. He got the Trailblazer award...awarded to only 1 or 2 students in each class, well as a whole stack of others...Math, Music, PE, Science, Spelling, Bible, I said a stack. He loves school, learning, God...and excels in all of it. Each time an award is announced, the kids names are read and they come up, applause....Yea!
During this same assembly, my Taddy sits there award after award, name after name, never being called, never going up front. My heart aches.... See,Taddy too loves school, learning, especially History and Bible and loves God. And it shows...Taddy is an A,B student! But he is never number 1. The top student, the neatest paper, the fastest runner, the best singer. My heart aches with tears, as I know all his hard work, and determination and eagerness to do well.....and no one notices. :( I notice. Jesus notices. We call his name.
In the car, on the way home from school, Nick took his music award, crossed out his own name and wrote Taddy's in and gave it to him. Taddy, trying to muster some goodness from it, he got one "award" that was a "participant" award for the phyisical fitness program, said, "Some folks think this award doesn't mean anything, because it just means you participated, but the teacher told me the folks that got the participation award improved more in their times and scores than the folks who got the National or Presidental award."
I love my boy. I love both my boys...and my girls. With this fresh on my heart, and feeling "unawardable" myself..I thought of that line from The Incredibles...where the little son, Dash says: "When everyone is special, then no one is!".... And I thought...that is how I feel.... Not that I for a minute want to take away from anyone else's "specialness" or being loved....
But I was feeling, God so loved the world. all of how can folks say, of me, an individual, that I am special to Him, in any way...I am one of a million (not one in a million).
Then I thought of the awards and of my kids. And I got it. Each of my kids ARE special to me. My heart is full of love for EACH of them individually. Each are so unique. The things that make me grin big and spill over my heart with tears for Taddy are different than the things that make me grin big and spill for Nick and for Mary and soon for Olivia. Each different, each unique, each special and each loved to the max for their unique specialness.
And I got it.
That is how God is with us. Being God, He can (and does) know us to the detial, different, unique level and sees (made and develops) the specialness in each of us. Individually. He would miss just me. Cry over just my heartache. Cheer on just my triumph. Just like I do with my kids.
And He knows each of us, and what it takes...what it takes to help us, bless us, love on us and make us feel special.
For me...its my kids...he knows that is the way to reach me.
Thank you Lord. I love you. And I love my babies...each and every one of them. Thank you for the blessing of them.

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