"That maybe being the mama I want to be isn’t so much about being more, but trusting more – trusting more in the God of Hagar and Ruth and Hannah, the God who sees the angst, who nourishes the empty places, who hears the unspoken cries — and answers.
That godly parenting isn’t ultimately about rules — but having a relationship with an ultimate God and His children. " - Ann
...as I read Ann, I see someone like me....wounded heart, loving her kids, and failing them often. No super mommas here.
Whether it is thinking I am helping, and out of my own pain, hurting instead...or just being so broken that I act the opposite of what I would hope... there is only one person I think I have found who gets it and still hopes, and still moves forward and still turns to God and still hugs her kids and hopes that the wounds can be tended...
hurt people hurt people, even when they don't want to.
so, like so many on planet earth, we walk around with wounded hearts in common.
as I walked the hallway at work this morning, I thought, Lord, could we start it all over. Could we act like just today I found out about you and accepted you...and just today I am starting a fresh life with you. And just today grace is pouring down for the first time, all around and over my kids.
O God, I have tasted Your goodness,
and it has both satisfied me
and made me thirsty for more.
I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace.
I am ashamed of my lack of desire.
O God, the Triune God,
I want to want You;
I long to be filled with longing;
I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Your glory, I pray,
so I may know You indeed.
Begin in mercy a new work of love within me…
Give me grace to rise
and follow You up from this misty lowland
where I have wandered so long.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Some would gather money Along the path of life Some would gather roses, And rest from worldly strife. But I would gather children From among the thorns of sin, I would seek an ebony curl, And a wide and toothless grin. For money cannot enter In that land of endless day ,And roses that are gathered Soon will wilt along the way. But oh, the laughing children ,As I cross the sunset sea, And the gates swing wide to heaven ,I can take them in with me! ~Author Unknown~
“God wins us, not by shouting, beating us up, or starving us into submission, but by asking for an invitation to enter.
We are loved into surrender. The more we accept that he operates out of love for us, the more we will entrust ourselves to him.
Fénelon expresses this truth beautifully: "God is not a spy looking to surprise you. He is not an enemy lurking in the shadows to hurt you. God is your Father who loves you, and wants to help you if you will but trust in His goodness."