Sunday, March 23, 2008

A man hole is still a hole....

Spring Break Day 6

Does Saturday count, as spring break? It was a normal day, with chores, and shopping and naps.... As the day wore on I found myself getting more cranky and more cranky, and I don't know why. Finally, dropping the kids off to a playdate, I went grocery shopping and was so sad...and felt so lonely, I cried all the way through the grocery store. :(

I just felt so lonely. When I finished shopping, I could not pick up the kids quick enough. I just wanted to be with them so badly, which is silly. I knew my loneliness could only be met by God himself.

After everyone got home, bathed, in PJs and hit the sack, I sat in the kitchen and cried. No reason, just cried.

.... and realized, no matter how close I feel to God, I still hit these holes once in a while. But rather then stressing that something is wrong with me, or that I did something wrong, I just realize, they are there and they will pass. I may try to cover them up..but there is no use. Why not be authentic? If I feel sad, don't try to fix it. Listen to God, if He is not telling me anything (I can hear) in it, then just turn to Him and sit with Him in it. And like a mother quieting her child, sitting in His presence through the tears will soon quiet them....

I am better today..had a great Easter with my family and tears are all gone....... No longer thrown by tripping on these holes, just come on out, when it is time.

God is good...His word is essential.

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