Friday, May 02, 2008


If God's word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path, why do I feel like I am stumbling along in the dark all alone?

Because, for it to be my lamplight, I gotta use it. To use it I gotta be in it, read it, meditate on it, memorize it, lift it high at the right times.

Consistently. Daily. Even moment by moment.

I know this.

My head knows this. My heart has experienced this, so my heart knows this. My spirit most definately knows this.

And yet, I will go stretches of time when I do not do this. I do not focus and do the very thing I know I need to have light pouring over me.

Why is that?

Why would we know what to do, but still not do it. In this case, it is not unbelief, because I have experienced it personally and know it is true. It is not lack of time, because I have made the time before, so I know I can carve this time out. It is not desire, because I desire to walk in the light.

So what is it?

Fleshly laziness. That is it. Just plain ol' lack-of-discipline laziness. Justing being doh-doh bird, flapping around in the dark, sqawking about my lack, when I know what to do.

Like Paul, that which I want to do, I do not!!!!

Thank you Lord from your mercy and your word hidden in my heart. Turn my laziness to faithfulness. I need your lamplight.

1 Things Others Said:

MelanieJoy said...

Hey Sandee, it's Melanie. I emailed you the otherday about adoption. Just thought I would stop in and say thanks for emailing me back. The timing was so amazing.
I can totally agree with this post. I'm so in this place right now too! I long so bad but am finding it very hard to disciple myself. I put some music on my blog because praise & worship seems to help me focus a lot more.