Wednesday, January 21, 2009

What's "on the needles"?

I just love that phrase, "on the needles". Heard it on one of the "knitting princesses" blogs I follow, as in I have a scarf "on the needles" or a new hat "on the needles". So on my needles is a flame colored scarf (Just call me princess scarf, seems to be my knitting mainstay right now) and a blue silky scarf. Waiting to get on the needles are three matching ponchos for my girls in turquoise and brown.

But I was thinking, what is really on the needles, is me! :) God says he is crafting me into a masterpiece, a poem, his workmanship.... (Eph 2:10) And this morning I caught a glimpse of that.

I woke up just feeling like I needed Jesus. Nothing specific, and everything specific. :) I just needed some. Rather than doing my Bible Study Homework, or one of my devotion books, I felt like I needed to just get my mouth under the spigot. So I turned to where I had been reading in the verse where I had left off, and as I read, it jumped out at me. That's what I need! That's what my kids need!

Phil 1: 9-11 9: And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more (keep growing) in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

I realized, in my preparation for Mame, and my decision to adopt Hanna as well, and even in my thoughts around New Year goals...I had been working and reading, and planning and stressing and worrying....about this big plan and organization and all that needs to be, as well as my concerns with my kids and working on their relationships with each other..... And I was looking at the big picture, planning, thinking ahead (like Noah, before the flood of kids are here :)) but I was not doing it with prayer, much, asking for wisdom and guidance and I was not connecting to God daily - day by day focus - of even moment by moment, THIS moment.

I was too focused on the out there...almost in a panic, and started worrying about this and that, trying to figure it all out and fix it myself, rather than trusting God. Rather than asking for His wisdom and leaning on him. Like I said the other day, in a cold climate, rather than somewhere warmer.

I saw I was not relying on my shepherd to lead me and guide me, that He would not let me lack in knowing what to do and how to do it, if I would let Him lead me.

All of these thoughts are things I have known and experienced in the past, but the little lamb had wandered off trying to do it on her own.

So I am, still, on His needles, being knitted into his masterpiece, along with all my little ones....knitted together into something of His making. As I prayed that in me, and in them, He would make our love grow and abound, love for Him and love for each other, and that we would get smarter and deeper in understanding Him and his ways and in how to live as a loving family, as a loving person... so then I could discern what is best, and my children can discern what is best, rather than what is gut reaction, so we can become pure and without blame.

I Thess 3:12: May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else. May He Strengthen our hearts so that we will be blameless and holy....

Yes, Lord, increase our love and strengthen our hearts.

Col 1:9-14 We have not stopped praying for you....asking God to fill you with knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding.

I realized I had stopped praying. I mean I prayed some, but really praying, about all of it and believing. Either I believe God or I don't. And God says, The passionate prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective. (James 5:16) And he tells me not to be anxious about anything, but pray about everything. (Phil 4:6,7)

And I had not been doing this. If I believe it, then I need to do it. No wonder I have been feeling far off, confused and cold. I need to skinny on up to the fire of God's word, His presence, in faith believing and prayer!

So, see, I am on the needles. God is working on me, hallelujah. I am not hopeless. Snarled and broken in parts, but he is kitting that in too.

His word is alive and active and true. He answers our prayer, and is working all out to His purpose.

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