Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Praying for Unstuck...

run run run run,

hurry, hurry, spend, spend,

find fun, find fun, go, go, go

do it, do it, stop it stop it!

did you hear me?!

off, off, nightie -night, i'm done!



What are the people in that picture smiling about? Rushing equals smiling? I don't think so.

Sometimes, I sit at the end of a day, and think, as I catch my breath, another 24 {12} hours spent and what!!??

We rush through the FUN parts so fast, and overspend the budget so grossly, that any 'goodness" is tainted with "rushness' or "shouldn't have" or a guilt-clad intentions to make it up later.

I agree with this sweet blogger I follow, that I too have as "one of my desires and goals... to SIMPLIFY my life and only fill it with things that are worthy."

But I don't do it. Mostly. Often.

Lifestyle, culture, easy old habits all pull against this that I find myself, once again, shallow, empty and stressed when I realize I COULD have made other choices, but did not.

Eats at me.

What's a momma to do?

Sometimes it feels like our way of living is entrenched so deeply in these frantic, over-extended habits, that I can not even think of a way to start chipping away at it.

{And this is suppose to be a vacation week. Which of course it is, and truly, we have had some good days in it....just today was a bit too much of a frenzied one, and I saw it in my kids, by the end of the day, like little wildcats all tearing over the same piece of ___________, (fill in the blank without getting too graphic).}

So, I am not one without hope.

It is a journey, I am not at the destination, where I am now, is not static, is not the end. So this current mire (how DO you spell that word? ie, mucky, stucky place), is not a forever stopping place, and I am sure, like piles of laundry in the basket, a few layers have already been taken off, put away. Simplified. I just see the pile and feel the stress of it at this moment.

I, too, think, part of it, is the cries and hisses of the over-zealous kitties that have finally retired to their dens are still fresh in my ears,

plus I received some new insight the last couple days, listening to Dr. Karyn Purvis' three videos; {Almost too much insight. Awesome stuff} and I have to do something with it. It is too important. I can't just eat the seed, I not change! I now have to take the word that was spoken and sow it into my life...and my kids life.

And I want to. The spirit is sooooo willing and the flesh is screaming bloody murder.

I am praying for wisdom, for the first step. {Taking the entire thing and trying to sow it at once, feels like trying to turn myself inside out, literally.}

I know God did not bring me to this insight, to just let me suffer in my inability to bring it about. :) I know that......

Just feeling it tonight, and feeling a little stuck.....

Praying for unstuck.

1 Things Others Said:

crispy said...

You always share your thoughts in such a beautiful way.