Sunday, October 04, 2009

Seduced by Despair....

Not the cheeriest of titles, but hang with me here.
(Side note: as I was going through pictures I had, to add one with this post, I was thinking of storm clouds or something dismal looking, and I came across this picture. Taken from Gondor Ethiopia, the largest city closest to the village my daughter-to-be {that is hard to write, she is already my daughter in my heart} is from. And seeing this picture did two things:
First, as I, sitting in my comfortable, middle class-America, suburbia home, write a post with the title "seduced by despair" ...what do I truly know about despair? Real despair. (and yet I know each of our experiences of emotion are personal and despair can be felt anywhere).
The second thing I thought is: look at the faces in this picture. In an environment or situation that most of us would find despairing, (that is their kitchen, no over, stove, coffee pot, cute matching dishtowels, cafe curtains), look at their faces. They are smiling. They are not despairing. End of side note back to the post.)
In a devotion I am reading, (John, by Beth Moore) the section this morning was on Rev 2:14-17 and talking about how this particular church was allowing false teaching and being influenced by it. In the message Beth shared how the enemy of our souls is waging war on our generation. As believers he cannot curse us, because we are blessed by God. But our enemy tries to seduce us. A bit stronger than temptation that we might easily recognize, seduction tries to catch us off guard. Unaware. Perhaps not even recognizing that it is seduction.
And when asked "Where do you find yourself most commonly seduced? What lies do you deal with and fend off on a fairly daily basis?" I realized it is not the things I would think it would be. Enticements from the world, or a longing for a different life, or even the longing for a mate, a godly daddy to my children, and that that will never happen. None of these are really by daily battle.
Mine is the seduction of despair. The thoughts (lies) that creep in and say that I am too unworthy (struggling, unfaithful, inconsistent, unperfected) to have God answer my prayers or that he would truly have a plan for me. Which is a lie! That I think I am in this all alone and it is a whim, chance, no rhyme of reason to it, that there is no help in my time of need. LIE LIE LIE. Untrue.
I am so easily seduced by the mood of this thinking, which leads to despair. I stand up and say: I WILL trust in the Lord with ALL my heart, (and those little ones in my heart) and He WILL direct my path. He says so! I will not be seduced into believing I am in this all alone, that I do not have hope.
Abba, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I need newness today, hope, please pour in. I need it so.

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