Perplexed...

This is what I feel like today. That my burden has me bent. With my heart aching and my mind perplexed....

And this is what came to my soul.

God is working. As He speaks in a quiet whisper, he most often works in a seemingly invisible process. Love takes time. Healing takes time. Change takes time.

I realize that (so much in my self) and how much more do I realize that in my child. God does not give us a consequence...a grand consequence, and then expect {POOF!} we never fail again.

So why do we {others} expect that of a child?

God does not show us, or tell us, of our sin and then expect us to alone solve it, break free and remember never to do it.

So why do we {others} expect that of a child?

A young child?

A child who has come from the hard places (as Dr. Kathy Purvis, calls it), who does not even know why they are feeling what they are feeling, or why they do not feel {remorse} what you want them to feel.

Yet, the "solution" presented, {demanded} is fix it {fix her} NOW or keep her away from here. She does not fit in our classroom. She does not fit in our school. She does not fit in our rules. And if she will not fit, then we cannot wait. DO SOMETHING!!!

But see, I cannot DO SOMETHING the way you expect me to do something.

The something is slow and small and moment by moment and takes time and patience and is filled with hugs and love and forgiveness. Not filled with consequences, and punishment and suspension and impatient, disappointed frowns.

Do you demand a crippled man to walk!!!??? Walk or stay home??!!!!

Do you demand a blind man to see!!!??? Look or stay home??!!!

Yet, you demand a broken heart to behave. Behave or stay home....

And all of this, all of this, all of this...for the horrendous, unforgivable sin of throwing a rock. ?? More than once, yes, but still....for throwing a rock?????!!!

But I told you not to throw rocks. {I told you not to sin}

the last time you threw a rock, I made you stay home. {the last time you sinned, I sent you away?}

And now, look you have thrown a rock again??!!! What ever will I do with you? And you don't even act sorry about it!! {And look, you sinned again??!! Whatever will I do? And you don't even act like you are sorry about your sin!}

Something about this does not feel right.