Having some insight into what is NOT working and feeling overwhelmed as to where to find help....on my knees internally, to God, for wisodm, guidance, help!...knowing I have a small window of time to make a difference a small window of opportunity to redeem the day, restore and undo the harm done....
He led me to what I view as the kindest heart I have ever met. Dr. Karyn Purvis. Oh, I wish I could just live next door and visit her every day. She is always encouraging, yet honest. A couple insights I had as I watched the short videos, I am going to talk about in a minute, are two:
This first one amazed me. Not everyone is called to adopt. Until this moment, I really did not believe that. I thought they are just not willing to be called, but all are called. But after listening to her, I realize, as she shares, that everyone is called to help the orphan in some way, maybe by supporting another family to adopt, or mission trips, or funds or helping a family who has adopted, but not everyone is called to adopt personally. So then I look at myself. Was I called? In her opening video, Karyn nails the many reasons some of us adopt..our own needs or expectations. and how that is not the calling to adopt. And I saw myself in more than one of those. Seeing that I had needs, motives, and now here I am with four children, I know my God is sovereign, and can/will work all things together for the good of all five of us...but it is a good insight to see...and something that had perplexed me.
So whether the beginning of my journey was a true calling or a personal need that evolved into a burning passion, I am now on this journey...and will meet this calling. Which leads me to the second insight.
One that sounds strangely familiar....it seems like I keep being brought back to this fact again and again. That my calling, ministry, piece of the puzzle, one thing, that God has called me to do is these four children in my care..... They are my orphans to raise...some partial orphans..some disrupted famlies, some with unknown, mysterious backgrounds....but all from hard places and here we are. I had been struggling, (like ANN) over what else I am to do about the 147 million orphans and my reaction to the Radical book and others I have been reading. (Post here ) Over the past few days, I have been getting little glimpses of insight over the struggles my littel family is in the middle of....then tonight, a dream woke me up, that caused me to open my computer and share with my mom the battle, as I see it....not against flesh and blood, but against an enemy longing to devour us.... after writing out the state of the union for my mom, I sat here overwhelmed....armed with prayer, on what to do....how to do it...how to walk in the Spirit....and fight the good fight... my insight...these four are my ministry...more than enough for my hands. Yes, I will continue to advocate for the orphan, to assist in any finanical way that I can, to encouarge others, perhaps, as my children grow older and become more healed, to even join with them on short mission trips....but for the future, 6 to 11 years, these four hearts are my ministry.....my callings, ....my full hands.
And I truly believe God led me to Dr. Karyn Purvis videos tonight. They are both encouraging, inspiring and sobering. How will one momma do this with all four of her children..Because, truly all four of them need this. Two home grown children, left by their father, and living for years with a broken, wounded momma, that did not have the insight as to what they needed and how to give it. Then add to that, a precious China princess...home four years, with the same broken, clueless momma....and now my Ethiopian princess...... just home.. So truly, they are all four from hard places, broken and wounded and all four needing all of me...and all of God at the same time. So I have seen the need, I have heard the insight...and I know the gifts they need from me. The how of it, has to be unwrapped with the wisdom and grace of God, because it is beyond me in myself.....
I highly recommend these videos......of the 7 insights and 7 gifts....for children from the hard places.
So please understand, if I go into cocooning for awhile...and simplify our lives....to focus on the small window I have to help them and allow God to help me.
Thank you Lisa...for sharing these. Once again, you are a resource and encouragement used by God.