God is not silent, as I thought, He speaks at a tempo and volume slower and quieter than I often listen, but Hallelujah, He speaks. -me
A new day has dawned....and open door to a closer, better relationship...with God, with my kids. That is what I am all about.
Yesterday (actually the weee hours of this morning) when I watched the Dr. Karyn Purvis videos, another big message jumped out at me. Something she shared, in relation to our children's behaviors and our reactions....when I heard it, echoed in my soul as well: "You too, you too, this applies to you too, in your relationship with God".
And it is this....
We do not focus on the behavior (especially the acting out of brokenness behavior) but on the need underneath. Focus on meeting the need. Jesus with the woman at the well, did not focus on her behavior, judge her, hold it against her, He focused on her greates need...she was dying of thirst, trying to quench it however she could...He gave her the thirst quenching living water.
With the woman caught in adultary, he did not focus on her behavior, but on her need, love, acceptance, forgiveness..
I get so "performance based" in my relationship to God. So kicking myself over my behavior. He looks at me through eyes of love, even in my stinky ol' messy behavior and sees through it to my need. And loves me enough to meet my need.
And I so had the need to feel loved, to feel God was not silent, to feel God had a plan and desire for me and for my kids and that He was holding a hope and wisdom and life-sustaining energy for me and he did that. He spoke through a series of people over the last two days....and most cleary through Dr. Karyn Purvis.
I look with understanding, on my recent struggles with my children..and see how, unlike God, I was so focused on the behavior, and not on their need. This morning, I took Nicky aside and apologized for my ways...my not being the best mommy, asked his forgiveness and prayed for him and me. He needs to be a little boy, growing into a man... he needs an understanding, loving mommy. Not a behavior Nazi. I apologized to the rest of my children as well, later as a group.
and to my Savior, I raise praise and gratitude...that He looks at my need, not my behavior...and that He speaks to me.
with a subject change...I have new music....from my visit to the Christian book store yesterday...
What am I listening to:
Ginny Owens Say Amen: Hymns and Songs of Faith
Amy Grant: Somewhere Down the Road
Philips, Craig and Dean: Fearless
Chris Tomlin: Hello Love
I love the song unafraid , by Amy Grant (for you momma...and for me)
Go Ahead: Why You Can Give Up on the Goal of a Beautiful Life - “Iwanna buy something.” That’s what the woman tells me. You can see that look in her eyes, looking for something lovely. Something new and shiny and lovely...
6 hours ago