Thursday, October 14, 2010

teeter totter?

There is so much I could, would say today....
-like how I could not sleep all night long after reading chapter 6 of Radical.
-how Frances Chan's words in the epilogue of Forgotten God about how we often try to "balance" someone's passion, haunts me.
-how the fact that there are 147 million orphans in the world and 236 million Christians in America, and WHAT percentage of them don't feel "called to adopt?" (Since when is James 1:27 an yes or no verse?)
- how I have not clue what to do now....and saving my real Chapter 6 post for next Tuesday. (Will I know better then?)
Then I read Ann Voskamps words today...and she expresses ME!!!
"every time i open my wallet, i twist in conflict."
sigh.... Just go read Ann she expresses this tension and angst, far better than I can: When you are dying to live radically...
footnote: as I woke up (how do you wake up from practically no sleep) exhausted this morning, peace came in the form of this: I don't know Lord. I don't know what to do, and what not to do. I don't know if this decision or that decision is the right one. And I don't know any decisions. But.....I trust you. You will lead me. I am surrendered. I will follow. It is not on my shoulders to figure it out. I am open, surrendered and following. Lead on!

2 Things Others Said:

Renee said...

I sure do love Ann.

I still haven't read Radical. In truth I think I'm a bit afraid. I already struggle with how to know how much to sacrifice. My brain seems to be frozen up and I can't say what I mean right now, can't find the right words. But I am right here with you.

Gabi Dickinson said...

''We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."- 2 Chronicles 20:12

This verse just came to mind as I read your post. I have Ann's post saved in Google Reader to read tomorrow- can't wait!