Monday, April 11, 2011

Too tired to try....

I have this list on the side of my blog.   A handful of other blogs that I read, these cyber threads into other's lives, thoughts.  Some I read every day, some from time to time.   Depending on my mood, and free time,  I skip one, read another....

but it never fails.....

If I take the time to read Ann's blog, God ALWAYS uses it to speak to me. How can the struggles and triumphs, wishes and insights of this Canadian farmwife always speak into where I am?

I am really really tired today.  I had a bad headache last night, sick, hanging out over the white porcelain,   mentally moaning for Jesus to help me.   So very tired and low in energy and spirit today.

and...  I also, for about two days, or 1 1/2??  . have been wrapped in a sadness blanket.   Really cannot pinpoint the why...maybe a collection of things....but just a sadness, weariness,  like hope draining through holes in a bucket...  something I could not reason, or quote, or journal away.  Just sitting there...wrapping me up.  Feeling so distant from God.   ...feeling so ineffective to my angry daughter, feeling so dismal...and too tired to try.

and I read Ann's words today.....words to help our children...but really words to help me!

"A child who is apathetic, the dark hopelessness of this world threatening to consume? We hand our children a torch when we hand them a pen, a dare to hunt for Him. Sparks fall and the world catches and they see light everywhere, God-glory igniting everything. Hand them a pen. Hand them a pen. The way to counter apathy is to count the ways of God….

A child who is afraid? Count blessing so Who can be counted on…

A child who is angry? Anger is always just this: the bleeding of a deep wound. Wrap up wounds intentionally with the gentle bandage of God’s unending love, His daily, tender graces.

A child who needs to learn pray? “The only real prayers are the ones mouthed with thankful lips. Prayer, to be prayer, to have any power to change anything, must first speak thanks: “in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6 NIV, emphasis added)."

(Ann - How to help raise grateful kids)

I have joined in with my mom (and lots of other ladies) on memorizing two verses a month, and it is the 11th of April, and I have still not found my verse..for the first half of this month..until today.  I found it on Ann's blog...and old familiar, that I need to remember: 

“Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8).

We are going to start a family "gifts" journal tonight at the dinner table.....and Thank God for all He gives to us each day.

1 Things Others Said:

Mom said...

Daughter, Needless to say, these last 3 posts rended my heart. I am so proud of you...who you are.
Your children , when grown, shall call you "blessed woman".
You do know , don't do realize that God IS in you, and does speak to you, does answer your prayers in the order and timing of His purpose for your life ...the reason He gave these 4 children to you..and no one else.
I really wish I could suffer your years long headaches for you..Oh, Honey...I WOULD! I ask over and over that God will take these away from you. Hold on, Sandee. Remember this ...most followers of Christ never can "SEE" their spiritual standing..growth. BUT WE SEE YOU! We who are witnessing your years of days ....we SEE you SHINE!.