Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I can do this.....(the old stuff still works!)

{You can purchase these vintage books on from A Pretty Book} thoroughly equipped for every good work.  2 Tim. 3:17

I am currently doing a new job function at work, filling in for an employee who is on sabbatical for two months.   I am on a BIG learning curve as I am learning new programs, who's who, how this new group works...  In this new function, as I learn new skills, I am also relying on older skills I learned in the past.  Taking that old learning into a new situation.   Day by day, I am seeing that I can do this.   I can reapply what I know and be effective.

In reflection, I can see how I have been doing this in my home life recently as well.

A few weeks back, my son was troubled about how some challenges with a youth band he plays in.  Thinking through how I could help him, but not solve it, I fell back on very familiar skills I use at work on sifting through problems, getting to the root cause and proposing solutions. 

Does this sound a little boring?   

Actually when I walked through this problem-solving method with my son, focusing on concerns...he got very excited!  He no longer felt, helpless or clueless about solving the problems.  Once we were done, he scheduled a meeting with the church leaders, proposed his ideas and has moved forward.   

After our little brainstorming/working session, he came back to me later and thanked me for taking the time to show him how to do this.  He was excited that he could use this process with almost any issue or concern. 

It felt good to both of us.

Flash forward a few weeks.   Two of my kids are in the living room squabbling over "video rights" and who has watched how long and whose turn is it to choose... stomping off to rooms, shooting back retorts....   So I walk in to intervene.

I calmly start asking what is the pouts,one line zingers, verbal stabs and snap backs start happening...  I try to coach my kids on resolving a conflict and only get a response of "I KNOW, I KNOW, may I go now mom?!"  

I jokingly say, ...what if my boss at work was coaching me on resolving some conflict with a co-worker, and {here I imitated my daughter} I put a pillow over my head and say: "Ok, OK, Brian!!!...may I go now!!??"   They laughed.

But I had an ah-ha moment!

I KNOW how to do this.  

I AM fully equipped to coach my kids.  Rather then mentally thrashing around on how I "solve" my kids... I realized I am already equipped in many areas to help them, teach them, coach them.

At work, all the time, we have to work through conflicts, resolve disagreements, and work together regardless of differences.  

I became excited.  I told my kids I was going to look at the different skills I have learned in my work life, that we can use at home.  That i could coach them on skills that would not only help them get along in a family, but also at school, with friends, on teams, at church, in youth band, and in future life. That they would be a step ahead of the other college students when they start a career.

To me this was (is) big!!!!   Thinking of all I do at work to make a project or program run well and how I have managed employees, and coached.  Even the structure I put around meetings and goals and learning at work...these same skills can help at home.

When I shared my ah-ha moment with my kids, I was thrilled.   My kids?  Not so much.  My younger son asked if I was going to fire them. :)  But that is ok, I know how to motivate a team as well.

And I know as they learn new skills to navigate the challenges in life, they will appreciate what they have learned, like my son did a couple weeks ago.

I realize, God really has equipped me to "manage" this team...our family.  And that I can do skill at a time.

As my "parenting coach" keeps telling me, nurture needs structure.   And yes, I see that yet again.

I may have to consider that "firing" aspect that Tad brought up though. 

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