It was a normal day. In fact, a good day. Walking into Starbucks this morning with mailbox flyers to read in line...looking at new beds for the boys, maybe a new coach, JJILL catalog under my arm...waiting for my latte. Feeling good. Then on the way out, the front page of today's new York Times grabbed my eyes.
I read the byline beneath the photograph.
my stomach lurched, my eyes filled with tears. I quickly moved out the door, toward my car and cried all the way to the parking lot. Pray/cried all the way to work.
I live occupied by my yard, and yes, that is the "talent" God has given me to invest, so I know I am doing the right thing, but while I am rearranging furniture and buying school supplies and having a latte on my way to work, 500,000 children in a hospital in Somalia are starving to death.
The pictures will kill you. And we think, I think....should we look at them. Should we not? What good will it do. What good can I do. In this case, aid intended to help is being blocked from entering the country.
And I know Somalia is just one of the many countries around the world suffering from famine. And I know this 500,000 is probably 100 times that around the world...
And it is overwhelming and hard and .... I cry.
I cry out to God. As I am sure, our loving Father cries and sees each one. And I pray for these children. And my heart is broken.
I can not fix our broken world. But what can I do? What can I do and still take care of the "talents" God has given me...these four children in my yard?
I don't have answers. Today I only have questions and tears and an aching heart.
O God, I have tasted Your goodness,
and it has both satisfied me
and made me thirsty for more.
I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace.
I am ashamed of my lack of desire.
O God, the Triune God,
I want to want You;
I long to be filled with longing;
I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Your glory, I pray,
so I may know You indeed.
Begin in mercy a new work of love within me…
Give me grace to rise
and follow You up from this misty lowland
where I have wandered so long.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Some would gather money Along the path of life Some would gather roses, And rest from worldly strife. But I would gather children From among the thorns of sin, I would seek an ebony curl, And a wide and toothless grin. For money cannot enter In that land of endless day ,And roses that are gathered Soon will wilt along the way. But oh, the laughing children ,As I cross the sunset sea, And the gates swing wide to heaven ,I can take them in with me! ~Author Unknown~
“God wins us, not by shouting, beating us up, or starving us into submission, but by asking for an invitation to enter.
We are loved into surrender. The more we accept that he operates out of love for us, the more we will entrust ourselves to him.
Fénelon expresses this truth beautifully: "God is not a spy looking to surprise you. He is not an enemy lurking in the shadows to hurt you. God is your Father who loves you, and wants to help you if you will but trust in His goodness."