On facebook today I wrote: "slipped into a conference room at work. {called a phone booth room...wonder if I will come out looking like super woman}..and just cried a bit. Sometimes my plate runneth over with tasks...and I do them all poorly, because I am doing too much. Now I have to wipe my face and facilitate a meeting..."in a teary panicky moment, I also texted a friend something along the lines of "forget what I volunteered to do last night, I really did not mean it. I am overwhelmed"..or something to that affect.
Hours later. (almost midnight) and all my work NOT almost done, and the churn in my tummy and the ache in my eyes already dreading the lack of sleep I will have.....{the failure I feel} I think hard. Can't even imagine the gifts I ignored today?
But I read Ann's words: "Christ wastes nothing and He repurposes pain for His purposes and He’ll use up all of creation for His glory."
and I breathe deeper, throat constricted, tears stinging my nose...and think. yes. He wins. Ok. He wins. maybe I too can let go a little? because He wins?
so, if, like Ann says, I feel like I need to know where this road ends.... it ends in Him. My children may bicker, my lack of perfection rub raw, but he wins in the end. My children are IN HIM. I am IN HIM. So, ok. .... breathe slower...and look.
gifts today:
- Olivia and Mary practicing their spelling and verses with each other
- Mary nailing her math homework the second time through
- laughter...my kids actually had some laughter today
- Nick talking babytalk about the kitties. :)
- Kristy's over the top generous offer to drive my boys home from Rangers so I could do more work at home
- Putting my kids homework first, before my home work.
- peanut butter cookies and milk
- four little hygiene boxes lined up in the bathroom (no more "she used my toothbrush" or "I can't find"... I hope)
- Wednesday already (in 8 minutes)
- Taddy's birthday wish list: 6 rolls of duct tape! 2 red, 2 black and 2 silver! :)
see there was some!
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