sweet hearted, God loving, fragile strong woman who I see God's love and life flowing through when she does not even see it herself.
she does this amazing thing, with dad. for dad. (for me too)
she will go to see dad, when he has had a hard night, and is down and crunchy and just heart sunk.
and she (even when she feels personally past the end of her own rope, only brushing her fingers against tatter strands)...she will soothingly talk, be calm, logical, speak the right truth, remind him yet again, of what is right and true and good and noble (think on these things)...and after an hour of two of just being, and speakling life....she turns papa around. By the time she leaves to go home. his perspective has changed, his mood has lifted and he is facing foward, again.
many days she has to do this days in a row. how blessed papa is. what a blessing she is.
and i was thinking...sometimes I have to do that for myself. I have to talk the truth to myself, remind myself and raise my own spirits with what I know to be true and just and right and noble. because sometimes circumstance, or those who have a different opinion (often the other side of my own self) can tell me just the opposite.
On facebook today, I was telling my mom how how sometimes a feeling or a bump in the road can seem so overwhelming or upsetting, making me downcast and fretting....my perspective all out of wack. But if I will just step on regardless, do the next right thing, as much as I can at the moment, focus on the small step...and breathe....that after a day or two, or sometimes even an hour or two, the bump is seen for what it is...a bump...or an emotion. But life winds on... families still love, laugh still happens, smiles still cross our hearts, aches soften ...some to warm memories, some to sore thoughts to be avoided....but the future is still bright...and the long range future is brilliant.....
giving my self my own pep talk.
and after i wrote those words...I was so overwhelmed by God's love.
How He loves us just as we are...
not as we should be,
not as we wish we were,
not as we think we oughta be...even in our stumbling weakness and brokenness, HE loves us...and is all the time working in us, in our lives, in our kids lives, moving on this journey closer to him.
even when our mouth spits the wrong words and our habits don't do the right things, and our heart grows scared. he still loves us.
to be loved, truly loved, just the way we are is an amazing gift...
the gift of Christmas lasting a whole life long.....a baby born to be our true love
And it made me think of the song my son sang in church a couple weeks ago, Downhere's song, How Many Kings... (I have the words and video below...)
to think that the king of Kings and Lord of Lords was born to die for ME. Out of love...so I could be with him. Now that is pretty incredible.
Just one King would do this...just one...
Words to How Many Kings...
Follow the star to a place unexpected Would you believe, after all we've projected, A child in a manger? Lowly and small, the weakest of all Unlikeliest hero, wrapped in his mother's shawl - Just a child - Is this who we've waited for? (chorus) How many kings step down from their thrones? How many lords have abandoned their homes? How many greats have become the least for me? And how many gods have poured out their hearts To romance a world that is torn all apart How many fathers gave up their sons for me? Bringing our gifts for the newborn Savior All that we have, whether costly or meek Because we believe. Gold for his honor, and frankincense for his pleasure And myrrh for the cross he will suffer Do you believe? Is this who we've waited for?
O God, I have tasted Your goodness,
and it has both satisfied me
and made me thirsty for more.
I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace.
I am ashamed of my lack of desire.
O God, the Triune God,
I want to want You;
I long to be filled with longing;
I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Your glory, I pray,
so I may know You indeed.
Begin in mercy a new work of love within me…
Give me grace to rise
and follow You up from this misty lowland
where I have wandered so long.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Some would gather money Along the path of life Some would gather roses, And rest from worldly strife. But I would gather children From among the thorns of sin, I would seek an ebony curl, And a wide and toothless grin. For money cannot enter In that land of endless day ,And roses that are gathered Soon will wilt along the way. But oh, the laughing children ,As I cross the sunset sea, And the gates swing wide to heaven ,I can take them in with me! ~Author Unknown~
“God wins us, not by shouting, beating us up, or starving us into submission, but by asking for an invitation to enter.
We are loved into surrender. The more we accept that he operates out of love for us, the more we will entrust ourselves to him.
Fénelon expresses this truth beautifully: "God is not a spy looking to surprise you. He is not an enemy lurking in the shadows to hurt you. God is your Father who loves you, and wants to help you if you will but trust in His goodness."