 |
| via pinterest |
But some days the skin of my soul just crawls.
Like today.
My heart aches and my mind wanders and folds convoluted back on itself....the alone conversations I have constantly {it seems}
A day when I am glad I do not have TV, because a Hallmark commercial could make me burst into tears.
When I shrink from chatting about this with my Savior imagining disappointment in his eyes for my nothingness and pursuit of lesser soul-wraps.
And I read again, from Ann, that we are more joyful, happy if we keep a gratitude list.
And I think...I have nothing to be grateful for..yet I know I have EVERYTHING to be grateful for. Last night I sat on my porch, with a cool breeze looking at a greenfield and some of our garden work...knowing there are momma's around the globe looking into the eyes of their starving children, straving themselves. OF COURSE, I have everything to be grateful for. But I don't feel it. Today...in my soul-crawling mood.
I have done this off and on...tried a gratitude list, but more off, than on.
So feeling particularly unjoyful today for no cotton-pickin reason..... {or at least not a big enough one}..i am going to scrounge deep and start an online gratitude journal here, now, today. Just 3 a day...at least...and see where it leads me.
Day 1 {again}
May 1
- a Bible Study book beckoning me...open me, open me, read me...I have encouragement within.
- a job that provides for me and my children
- all five of us working in the garden last night
Ok. that's a start. and I will keep adding to it, if it kills me! lol.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~addendum~~~~~~~~~~~~
I open my Bible Study work book, and the verse at the top of the page for today's homework is:
"EVERY generous act amd EVERY perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Faterh of lights; with Him there is no variation or shadow cast by turning." James 1:17
0 Things Others Said:
Post a Comment