Saturday, October 27, 2012

buttons and lace

kneeling down to the familiar sound
{when did the creaking start}
the bending of her bones
in harmony with the hinges' song
as she opened the wooden trunk

layers of life within
her map skinned hand
{once strong with holding babies
and toddlers hands
with combing curls and ironing shirts
with wiping fevered brows
and smoothing onion thin pages}
now rested a moment on the top layer:
soft blue downiness, patterned clouds and satin edges
long time gone from wrapping chubby toes in tight

knowing the lingering and passing of time she often fell into
caressing each piece of life,
each reminder of all she loved
precious ones

she pressed her heart toward willingness
to burrow deep
to  a bottom layer
wrapped in tissue faded to the fragile amber
of a porchlight

she gently set the other layers aside
as well as her desire to linger
and  reached across the years
lifting the tissued 
whisper of forgotten dreams 
from its tucked-away sanctuary

 fingers traveling along the crisscross lines
of spiderweb netted lace
as pristine as the day it beckoned her behind the shop window
only the buttons had traded their ivory pearl for a more forgotten shade
her thoughts followed those lace lines

so many blessings
marked by the layers
within her treasure trunk
far surpassing dreams of what could  have been

so many

yet one
this one
a blessing never bestowed
a hope never evidenced

and sometimes hope turns to despair
and despair to acceptance
and acceptance to the forgotten

almost forgotten
most times forgotten

more than once she had thought herself silly to have kept the evidence
of a once hopeful heart
but not today
today she was blessed that she had held on to a tucked away dream
blessed that she might bless another who in turn would bless another

she looked at the buttons
attached over months
with much younger hands
that now could not even tuck one faded pearl into its partnered loop

so many buttons
so many dreams
never met

well not so many really
just one
just one that was not answered
just one that lingered so long
that the prayers stopped asking

and life beat on
and the heart grew stronger
no longer in need of the asking
at least not for herself

she cocooned the tissue back around the buttons and lace
placing it on her bended knees
returning all the other layers
to be walked through on another day
closing the lid
she stood, knees singing yet again

the wooden tapping
announcing the arrival
of a cherished heart
on the edge of her own blessing bestowed
her own  hope evidenced

she rose with a heart swell  at the corners of her mouth
a prayer answered
she imagined the look on her son's face
on that Saturday so soon
when these buttons and lace
would walk into the beginning layer
of his life

she walked to the door knowing
all is as it should be

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