buttons and lace

kneeling down to the familiar sound

{when did the creaking start}

the bending of her bones

in harmony with the hinges' song

as she opened the wooden trunk

layers of life within

her map skinned hand

{once strong with holding babies

and toddlers hands

with combing curls and ironing shirts

with wiping fevered brows

and smoothing onion thin pages}

now rested a moment on the top layer:

soft blue downiness, patterned clouds and satin edges

long time gone from wrapping chubby toes in tight

knowing the lingering and passing of time she often fell into

caressing each piece of life,

each reminder of all she loved

times

precious ones

she pressed her heart toward willingness

to burrow deep

to  a bottom layer

wrapped in tissue faded to the fragile amber

of a porchlight

she gently set the other layers aside

as well as her desire to linger

and  reached across the years

lifting the tissued 

whisper of forgotten dreams 

from its tucked-away sanctuary

 fingers traveling along the crisscross lines

of spiderweb netted lace

as pristine as the day it beckoned her behind the shop window

only the buttons had traded their ivory pearl for a more forgotten shade

her thoughts followed those lace lines

so many blessings

marked by the layers

within her treasure trunk

far surpassing dreams of what could  have been

so many

yet one

this one

a blessing never bestowed

a hope never evidenced

and sometimes hope turns to despair

and despair to acceptance

and acceptance to the forgotten

almost

almost forgotten

most times forgotten

more than once she had thought herself silly to have kept the evidence

of a once hopeful heart

but not today

today she was blessed that she had held on to a tucked away dream

blessed that she might bless another who in turn would bless another

she looked at the buttons

attached over months

with much younger hands

that now could not even tuck one faded pearl into its partnered loop

so many buttons

so many dreams

undone

never met

well not so many really

just one

just one that was not answered

just one that lingered so long

that the prayers stopped asking

and life beat on

and the heart grew stronger

no longer in need of the asking

at least not for herself

she cocooned the tissue back around the buttons and lace

placing it on her bended knees

returning all the other layers

to be walked through on another day

closing the lid

she stood, knees singing yet again

the wooden tapping

announcing the arrival

of a cherished heart

on the edge of her own blessing bestowed

her own  hope evidenced

she rose with a heart swell  at the corners of her mouth

a prayer answered

she imagined the look on her son's face

on that Saturday so soon

when these buttons and lace

would walk into the beginning layer

of his life

she walked to the door knowing

all is as it should be