What's a momma to do?

Pack up her bags and go?

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(Radical Chapter 7, participating in a read-along book club that Marla is hosting. Read other responses at her blog).

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I must admit. I felt about chapter 7, "There's no Plan B" a lot of the same feelings I felt about chapter two.

How do I do this with children? Now I know Katie, and Amy and Heather and Gabi and many many many many...many others are doing it this with children. So I get that. And doing it ALONE with children.

I get the message of Radical Chapter 7. That God's plan to reach the lost is us. And every day more and more people die without Jesus, because I do nothing. I get that.

and like Radical chapter four, I still have to ask myself...where is my angst for the lost? And do I still ache more for people in tragic circumstances than I do for their lost souls? Is my heart more stirred over a child who needs food or a momma than a neighbor with his speed boat who needs eternal salvation? And I will say, YES it is. :(

I feel sad that I feel like I do not care. That I am not torn up over or passionate about doing something about the lost affluent souls vs the lost children, mommas in poverty. :( What is wrong with me? Do I not truly (bone-marrow deep) believe in eternity? I know I do believe. So what is it?

I do not feel compassion for the affluent culture around me. That is the bottom line. For the struggles and angst over which shoes to wear and finding a new stylist because my regular one has moved, or whether someone is being judged because they are carrying a "(designer-name)" knock-off purse. :( I cannot relate to that. SO I do not know how to reach someone that lives with their mind (heart) in that setting. AND THAT IS JUDGING OF ME. because, see, I lived on the edge of there for YEARS and because I am not out ministering to the down and out EITHER! :(

David Platt states that "the injustice lies in Christians who possess the gospel and refuse to give their lives to making it known among those who haven't heard." (p. 159)

I think part of my problem (and face it, it is a problem) is that I have a hard time living in a culture where I think MOST people HAVE heard the gospel and could care less. :( But I don't know that. I don't know that for a fact. I just feel that.

(I feel like I am whining here..lol. I think I am.)

So what am I doing?

I am sending money here and there, praying here and there....doing these little things. Is that radical? I am busy working to have a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes to wear and a Christian education for my four.... that's not radical, is it? Do I pack up the five of us, go to Uganda, or Ethiopia, or China, or South America or __________, open our house and take in 10 more? Others have.

I think the crux of this chapter is that I get it. I agree with it. I just lack evangelistic passion for my American culture and I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

David Platt states that Christians are always praying that God would show them His will, "Many Christians have almost assumed the attitude that they would obey God if he would just show them what he wanted them to do." (p. 159)

He goes on to say: "In the middle of a Christian culture asking "How do I find God's will for my life"? I bring good news....The answer is clear. The will of God is for you and me to give our lives urgently and recklessly to making the gospel and the glory of God known among all peoples, particularly those who have never even heard of Jesus." (p. 160)

Ok, yes. I agree. BUT HOW? How does a momma of four do this?

And here is my answer: (after all the whining)

Pray.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6,7

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him (ie. pray) and HE WILL DIRECT YOUR PATH. Prov 3:5,6

The fervent prayer of a righteous man are powerful and effective. James 5:16

So, I surrender (I started to say, "again", but really it is a deeper surrender, vs an again surrender). I surrender. Nothing is off limits. Nothing is too radical.

I truly want you God. I truly want me and my four to be your PLAN A. I want it. Lead me in it, please.

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addendum: These words from Marla just resonated with my heart-strings:

"It’s getting to know someone who doesn’t know Christ, maybe someone who needs some physical needs met or just some love and attention. It’s giving of your heart and time and life and laughter and friendship and maybe even clothes and food to that person. Little by little, step by step. And it’s praying God will give you an opportunity to tell that person about your relationship with Christ. And he will."

It made my heart ache...and my eyes water. Maybe thats a start....and being surrendered God will move from there? He knows.